if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
honey bunches of taint.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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