I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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