I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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