i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
