He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
