It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
