And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
