The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
