I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
