you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
