She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
