I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
