that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize