I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Its about making memories worth repressing
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
