This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
do herpes really smell.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
