This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
