Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
