Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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