I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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