no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
