Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
what day is it and did you see me today?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize