false alarm. still invincible.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
