things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
