I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
