i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
