do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
