Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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