is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize