R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
