By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
