mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize