And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize