mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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