Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
