I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
These tits shall not be calmed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
