Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
