Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
