if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
