He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
