Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
