im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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