Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
