Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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