I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Your penis caused this!
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