Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
