no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
