Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
