YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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