Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
