i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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