Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
