going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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