i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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