My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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