im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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