Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize