So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
