Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
