this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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