Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
