On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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