Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
