dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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