i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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