I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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