Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
